


She Needn't Know

by ClownfuckinAround



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Dominant Pennywise (IT), Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Oneshot, Pennywise Being an Asshole (IT), Possessive Pennywise (IT), Romance, hello im back with more emotionally manipulative bullshit, hibernation, idk i wanted to get another oneshot out and i draw the most inspiration from stuff going on irl, this one kinda hits home for me a bit?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClownfuckinAround/pseuds/ClownfuckinAround
Summary: 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘢 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘺. 𝘈𝘯 𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳, 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘻𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳.Pennywise comforts his pet following a recent betrayal.
Relationships: Pennywise (IT) & Original Female Character(s), Pennywise (IT)/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 98





	She Needn't Know

She’d lost track of the hours, there in his arms, the feeling of him so warm and sublime that it numbed her to her core. The tears trailing over her cheeks are dry now; had been dry for hours, hours after the sun had begun to set and this had all come to pass in the first place. She doesn’t stir, she doesn’t try to break away from him, she simply lets his form engulf her own like a strange silken shell cradling her, the fragile life within. The feeling of the taffeta ruffles at his neck brush against her own as he makes deep, snuffling inhalations into the pulse of her throat, a gloved hand gentle but firm as it massages and squeezes the supple flesh at her hip. Truth be told, she’d fallen into a bit of a slumber. It was easy to fall asleep in circumstances such as these, when her distress had taken all the breath out of her lungs, leaving her weary and susceptible to his undeniably comforting presence. 

Yes, Pennywise had become a comfort to her. Though she had started out as nothing more than an amusement to him, her enduring love and commitment at his side had enchanted him as time went on, had unlocked a face of the eldritch beast that few others could ever hope to look upon, a version of him that was rarely savored and even more rarely deserved. It was so unfathomable that someone draw care and consideration from Pennywise of all things, so unfathomable that he himself couldn’t deny how special that made her. He wanted her for his and no one else’s, but a prize so coveted would not be without others to vie for its possession. The girl had loved ones, she had friends and family; hardly anyone could make her acquaintance without immediately being drawn to the radiant warmth of her spirit. She was so bright and lovely and odd, a truly colorful soul that delighted everyone she came across, including him in all eventuality. That’s why it dismayed him so, to see her so heartbroken, so shattered and inconsolable, so much so that she would do the unthinkable of shrinking away from his touch. She hadn’t done that since the early days.

“....Why do you avoid me, pet?” His voice is quiet, simple and sweet. He almost sounds hurt.

She doesn’t answer, swallowing hard as she narrows her eyes to the floor. Her stomach roils with stubborn unease, riding waves of anxious nausea while her mind searches for a way, any way out of this situation. She doesn’t want to face him, or this. Cowardly as it seems, she just wants to turn tail and run. She wanted to run all the way out of Derry, out of this godforsaken town and never look back; not at him, not at anyone. She wanted to be free of this dilemma, that which was tearing her conscience to ribbons and leaving her this sad, empty husk of a human being.

No, that wasn’t fair. Her life was richer for having known him. She knew that. It was all she would let herself think. If he’d wanted to, he could have killed her so long ago. He could have snuffed her life out at any moment, and she would have been just one more meaningless little footnote in this town, on this insignificant little speck of a planet. He’d lived for thousands of years; he’d seen so much, experienced so much, and not a day went by that she wasn’t in awe at the raw extent of his power. That something so great and powerful saw anything of value in someone like her gave her purpose in this silly little world, gave her a reason to wake up in the morning and persist for one more day, because at the end of that day she could see _him,_ and all her troubles would melt away. It was all worth it, just for him.

She blinks back tears, keeping her eyes rooted to the floor.

“I asked you a question.”

Silence.

He says her name, tone impatient and short and close to anger. It makes her quake with fear, memories harkening back to incidents of his early cruelty, and she can’t bring herself to speak. Not beyond a few short, whimpered words no louder than a mouse’s squeak.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” She whispers. 

He tries to step toward her again to no avail. She steps back, a choked sob bubbling up from her throat. Her voice is hoarse. “D-Don’t. P-Please…”

He stops.

“...You don’t like that they disapprove.”

A bolt of lightning courses through her veins. She finally meets his stare, the tears brimming in her eyes finally spilling over the fullness of her cheeks, red and bright with hot sorrow. Her knees give out underneath the crushing weight of her despair and she collapses to the ground of the kitchen, starting to sob openly now as her face sinks into her hands. His face, hard and stern, softens ever so slightly. She doesn’t move now as he steps closer. He listens to her weep and wail inconsolably, crumpled up on the sienna linoleum and he lowers himself to lay beside her, his broad frame beginning to envelop her from the side. The silk against her hot skin is soothing, like cold refreshing lemonade on a blistering summer afternoon and she leans into him without thinking, drinking in the offer of comfort gladly.

“Oh ██████… My dear little bleeding heart… Shhh, _shhhhhh…_ Come here, darling, my darling girl…”

He pulls her into his hold and she’s too weak and forlorn to resist it. She cries into his chest, her muffled voice hoarse as she’s screaming out in anguish, a heartbreaking siren song of woe she sings endlessly into his eldritch soul.

  
“They don’t understand us, pet. They don’t understand… Shhh, shhhhhh, its okay…”

_Why don’t they? Why don’t they understand?_

“They love you too, that’s why.” He says quietly, answering her own thoughts. “They’re scared for you, pet. They see how consumed you are in your love, how blind you are to everything, everyone else. Don’t take it to heart, they are simply worried for you…”

“But I’m not blind!” She sniffles, burrowing further into his chest. “I love them all too… Is it so bad that I have something that I love more than anything else? Is that selfish?”

He coaxes her head back from his suit, tilting her chin up to look at him. Red, agitated hazel eyes look upon his face, a frown playing over his ghostly white features and she weakens just a little more, feeling so guilty and ashamed that she was the reason for his dismay. He brushes a tear away with his thumb.

“You’re not selfish, darling… They simply cannot understand what we have… Our love is something they will never accept, because they feel that you are better off without me.”

“We don’t like him, ██████.”

Her heart had sunk, and in that moment, she felt as though she was two inches tall. A sentence, so simple a statement, that truly shocked her to her core. She suddenly felt ashamed, and her mind started to race; she started to question everything about her relationship. The nature of it, the validity, everything. Her whole world was shattered.

“W-wha… What’s wrong with him?” She’d asked. She couldn’t figure out how she felt. Betrayed was just the tip of the iceberg.

She’d been so excited to introduce him to them. She’d been planning it with him for weeks and he’d put on a human face just for the occasion, taking the form of a tall, well-dressed man by the name of Robert Gray. She wanted everything to be perfect; she’d invited everyone out to lunch and brought him with her, clinging to his arm happily as she introduced everyone to him. She’d talked him up for months. He’d seemed to get along with them fairly well; of course, Pennywise’s entire trade was exuding charisma to ensnare his prey, so she had no doubt he would be able to charm them at least a little. He was amiable, polite, and demonstrated an easygoing sense of humor that had the entire party chuckling at his jokes for the extent of the outing. He seemed to have left a decent first impression. She honestly didn’t know where it had all gone wrong.

“We don’t like who you become when you’re around him.”

The whole world seemed to slow to a crawl.

“W-what the fuck do you mean, you don’t _like_ who I become?” She stuttered. Her tone is both angry and wounded in equal measure.

Her friends are cold and uncompromising in their intervention.

“You’ve been going on and on about this guy for months like he’s your entire world. You can’t stop talking about him. Every time we see you you’re in a fog, like you’re ignoring reality, and we know it's because of him. It's like we don’t even exist to you anymore. It feels like he’s hanging over our heads, and we’re not going to put up with it anymore.”

She’s tuned out now. All that’s in her head now is static, and the same crushing words over and over again.

_We don’t like him, ██████._

**_We don’t like him._ **

He favors her with a sad look when she falters from his burning yellow gaze and breaks down into sobs again. He pulls her into his chest again and strokes her hair carefully, delicately, humming as though to calm her, like a mother to a squalling babe. He lets her weep and weep, shushing her gently when she sucks in a deep breath through her runny nose to start again, and plants soft kisses atop her head when she nestles deeper into the taffeta at his neck to drown her wails in. She is consumed in her sorrow and all he is in this moment is a buoy to keep her from drowning completely, a lifeline to stop her from falling off the deep end into an untamed sea of despondency. An eternity passes as she exhausts herself in his arms, and then her sobbing slowly tapers into silent whimpers and sniffles over time. The sky outside is dusky and twilit now, and there is no longer light shining through the window panes. They remain there on the kitchen floor, almost as though they are carved statues of marble frozen in time, and she feels so warm with him that she cannot break away. She wants to stay like this forever. 

And all the while, Pennywise thinks, breathing deeply into her neck so as to monitor her thoughts and emotions. He spends the hours as her guardian, keeping her in his hold, under his protection, allowing her to seek solace from his touch for however long she needed. He would not interrupt her, he would not abandon her in these dire straits, because he had the utmost conviction that she would do the same for him. Pennywise was a very vain and selfish creature; he had spent millenia caring only for himself, because no creature on this earth or anywhere else gave him a reason to do otherwise. And then… _She_ came along. She came along and introduced something new to him. She gave herself to him, loved and adored him regardless of his cruel torments, and when he was in ill temper she was still nothing but caring and understanding for his sake. He knew that what was fair was fair, and he needed to return the favor. If she took care of him, he would take care of her. It was as simple as that. And he knew exactly how he might do it.

“Are you here, sweetling? Come… Look at me… I have something to ask you…”

She sniffles again and pulls her head back slowly, and his eyes glow orange like the last lingering embers of a fire, fierce and stubborn. The rest of the world is dark and indistinct, but she can see his face as clear as day. 

“I know what you need, my girl, what you want… You should come with me.”

“I...W-what?” Her heart skips a beat in her chest. She knew what he was talking about. 

“You belong with _me._ ” He says gently, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You know it, and so do I. You were made for me, precious girl, and I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you. That’s why I stole you away, I couldn’t bear to let anyone else have you. Come… Come with me, and I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted…”

She can feel the tears coming again. “But, I… My f-friends…”

“Said that we didn’t belong together, and you know that’s not true. Can you really forsake our love for the benefit of a few foolish mortals that don’t know what they’re talking about?”

She’s quiet. He smoothes down her shoulders with deft gloved hands. His voice is soft again.

“Come… Come now, my pet… Don’t you want to be with me forever? I’ll protect you always, my sweet, I’ll keep you _safe_. We’ll wander the endless path of time together. Hunt together, eat together, laugh, live and breathe together… Isn’t that what you want?”

The tears spill over her cheeks again. “My f-family, Pennywise...”

“A small sacrifice for an eternity of content, my darling. I know it hurts, I know… But I know you want this. They’ll forgive and forget, as all mortals eventually do. And you know what, my sweet?”

“...W-what?”

He smiles. “I think they’d want you to be happy too. I make you happy, don’t I?”

Her lip quivers, and more tears pool at the base of her chin. “Of c-course you do…” 

He takes her hands in his. “Then come with me, my love. Join me during my long rest. I am offering you the entire world, and all you must do in return is this one little thing. Can you do it for me? Can you be strong for Pennywise?”

She thinks of it all. Her friends, her family, everything that she had ever loved and held dear. Everything that she would forsake, and all for him. Her mind tries so hard to justify the idea, of leaving it all behind, leaving them all to grieve for her loss as she’s scattered to the four winds forever. It’s such a heartbreaking thought, and one she surely wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy, let alone all those she held so dear. But then, as she looks in his eyes again, she can see the burning luster within, the searing, screaming heat of the deadlights, peeking out of those amber windows and suddenly she feels faint, dizzy. She starts to forget it all. As her constitution begins to fail her, she fights to remain conscious, but its getting harder, it takes all of her energy to keep her eyes from glazing over. 

“You can be strong for Pennywise, can’t you? Don’t you love him? I know you do…”

She smiles weakly. She did. She _did_ love him. More than anything. Not a single moment passed where he didn’t exist in the depths of her subconscious to some degree, monopolizing her thoughts and attention so easily with his mere presence. He was so lovely and eternal, so much bigger than anyone or anything else on this planet. And he’d chosen _her_ of all people, to love and to care for and cherish. She knew who he was and how terrible, how despicable he was to this town, a curse on the land that could never truly be dispelled. But not to her. Despite it all, to her, he was a blessing. A blessing she couldn’t bring herself to waste. So she presses her head into his chest once more and mutters her answer. 

“I… I can.” She says. She’s still weak and disoriented from his eyes. She so loved to look into them, but it was like looking into the sun. The only difference was, instead of going blind, you surrendered yourself to something infinite and unfathomable, something that called from a place far beyond this universe.

“Mmmm, good girl… I knew you could, knew you could be strong for me. Such a good, sweet thing…” One hand is clasped in hers, and the other is gently stroking down her back.

“P-Pennywise…?” She asks. Her face is starting to numb.

“Yes, my love?” He starts to stand, bringing her with him in his arms.

She hugs him tight, as tightly as she can in her current condition. “I… I hope they won’t… Miss me too much. I j-just… Don’t want them to suffer…” She blinks back tears. “I don’t… Want that... For them…”

“They won’t suffer.” He says evenly. As she fades away, his voice is a remembrance, an echo from miles away. “Don’t worry, my pet, I’ve made sure of it.”

_I’ve made sure of it..._

And then she’s gone, she’s limp in his arms. He smiles. She needn’t know.

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
